Becoming a parent is one of the most profound transitions a couple can experience. From choosing a name to setting up the nursery, there’s a lot to celebrate. But behind the joyful anticipation, many couples are unprepared for how parenthood can impact their relationship.

It’s easy to assume that welcoming a baby will bring you closer together. But according to research from the Bringing Baby Home program, developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, nearly two-thirds of couples report a decline in relationship satisfaction within the first three years after becoming parents. This doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or your relationship—it means the transition to parenthood is deeply complex and deserves intentional care.

Why Parenthood Changes Everything

When a baby arrives, everything shifts. Roles within the family evolve. Time becomes scarce. Everyone is tired. Suddenly, you're not just partners—you’re co-parents. You may find yourselves overwhelmed by responsibilities and emotionally disconnected, even while deeply devoted to your new child.

New parents often experience a drop in intimacy, tension over dividing household duties, and a tendency to “keep score.” Resentment can build from what feels like unequal effort or a sense of loneliness as they adjust to being parents. These are natural reactions to stress, exhaustion, and the intense demands of caring for a newborn.

Adding to the challenge, physical changes—especially for birthing parents—can include hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, and postpartum mood disorders. This is a time when mutual understanding, emotional attunement, and support are more important than ever.

How Therapy Can Help You Navigate the Shift

Couples therapy, especially approaches grounded in the Gottman Method, offers practical tools to help partners stay emotionally connected during this life-altering season. Working with a therapist gives couples space to slow down, tune into each other, and approach the transition with intentionality.

Here’s how therapy supports new and expecting parents:

Strengthening Friendship: Therapy helps you stay curious about each other’s inner worlds, which is crucial when everything around you is changing.
Managing Conflict Effectively: You’ll learn how to communicate your needs without blame, repair ruptures quickly, and avoid the common trap of escalating tension when under stress.
Creating Shared Meaning: Therapy guides you in defining your family values, rituals, and roles, helping you feel like a team rather than two overwhelmed individuals.
Maintaining Intimacy: You’ll explore realistic ways to stay emotionally and physically close—even when time and energy are limited.
Preventing Isolation: Therapy normalizes your experience and reminds you that you're not alone in feeling stretched thin.

Learn more about couples counseling

Small Daily Habits That Make a Big Difference

Carving out just 15 minutes a day to check in emotionally can restore connection and prevent growing distance. Ask open-ended questions like:
“What’s been the hardest part of today for you?”
“What’s something you need more of from me this week?”
“What kind of parent do you hope to become?
Simple expressions of appreciation—“Thanks for letting me rest,” or “I love how you soothe the baby”—build trust and emotional safety, even during exhausting days. These micro-moments of connection are the foundation of long-term intimacy.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

The early stages of parenting are full of blissful and challenging moments. And while there’s no perfect roadmap, couples who seek support early often feel more equipped to handle what comes their way.

Therapy doesn’t mean your relationship is broken—it means you’re investing in the strength and sustainability of your bond. It’s a place to be seen, to understand each other better, and to grow together as partners and parents.

If you and your partner are expecting a baby or recently entered parenthood, therapy can help you navigate this journey with greater connection, compassion, and clarity. Reach out to the Lake Erie Center for Relationship Counseling to learn how we can support you through this transition.